Null
Shadow Keeper
Posts: 121
|
Limbo
Dec 6, 2005 2:28:35 GMT -5
Post by Null on Dec 6, 2005 2:28:35 GMT -5
As of late, I've started feeling different from my usual self and have been searching for what I might be. I feel pulled in several different directions but don't feel like a hybrid. I'm just confused.
First I thought perhaps I was Therian, but I don't feel like I actually am any of the creatures that pull me, so I'm thinking that they might be totemic. I know that my late grandmother had a great fascination for crows and I wonder if totem animals can migrate to new generations. A crow's guidance would most definitely explain many things, including my strong inclination towards mischief which seemed to be magnified after my grandmother died.
I have strong feelings for nature; however, I don't feel particularly home in a forest. I prefer the natural and unnatural to be joined in a sort of balance. When one side outweighs the other I feel uneasy. I have those same sorts of balance issues with order and chaos.
Any insights would be greatly appreciated.
|
|
|
Limbo
Dec 7, 2005 7:22:17 GMT -5
Post by Masticina Akicta on Dec 7, 2005 7:22:17 GMT -5
Who knows... see only YOU can know what you are. Take every bit of time you need....
|
|
|
Limbo
Dec 15, 2005 16:44:08 GMT -5
Post by Elix on Dec 15, 2005 16:44:08 GMT -5
I'm sorry Null, can't help ya' there. The feelings you are having sound similar to alot of awakenings, no matter of the type, should it even be an awakening of kinship. It took me a long time to come to my conclusion. I have always been compared to an elf, or a fairy or something of the like, and I have always felt a connection, but it really didn't hit me till almost 20 that I realized what I actually was. My whole thing started when I was about 15, so a good 5 or so years of learning. And since, it has been 10 years of discovery and research, and just a year or 2 ago I learned about kin. All together to get me where I am today took about 15-16 years, and still everyday I find something new. It will come when it is time. Before EM, did you hang out with a lot of kin??
|
|
Null
Shadow Keeper
Posts: 121
|
Limbo
Dec 17, 2005 2:56:43 GMT -5
Post by Null on Dec 17, 2005 2:56:43 GMT -5
I was pretty much blind to the existence of kin before I met Mairi. and EM was like jumping head first into an icy pool of water. Not that it was a bad thing, I thoroughly enjoyed it from the first moment. It was if I had met people just like me.
|
|
Null
Shadow Keeper
Posts: 121
|
Limbo
Dec 17, 2005 3:05:08 GMT -5
Post by Null on Dec 17, 2005 3:05:08 GMT -5
I don't really care how long it takes to discover myself. I'll just continue to explore untill I find one that I mesh perfectly with.
|
|
|
Limbo
Dec 19, 2005 14:51:22 GMT -5
Post by Elix on Dec 19, 2005 14:51:22 GMT -5
There was some discussion on excellerated awakenings, usually happening when an unawakened kin hangs with a bunch of awakened kin. If this theory is so, basically your feelings of being lost and cofused and anxious, can come from a to hastey or untimely awakening. Like you said, diving head first into icy water... it's mind numbing at times.
|
|
Null
Shadow Keeper
Posts: 121
|
Limbo
Dec 19, 2005 21:47:33 GMT -5
Post by Null on Dec 19, 2005 21:47:33 GMT -5
I'm not exactly sure if I've just started my awakening or if EM just made me more aware of what was happening to me already.
|
|
|
Limbo
Dec 20, 2005 14:39:13 GMT -5
Post by Mairi on Dec 20, 2005 14:39:13 GMT -5
Personally I believe that you were awakening when we met in March. Yes, its been almost a year. And being around others like yourself , ghost hunting in Gettysburg or the time we have spent together has given you a clearer channel to see within. Eagles Mere was a blast of energy coming from all manner of directions and it gave you a huge jump start. A bit like looking at pages in a family photo album and realizing that your recognize all those people.
The answers you seek will come from within. Outside influences are there only to support you and provide motivation.
|
|
|
Limbo
Dec 28, 2005 12:08:31 GMT -5
Post by AcaciaPhoenix on Dec 28, 2005 12:08:31 GMT -5
I sure do know how you feel...I also knew that I was different, but didn't fully know anything until after November 2004 EM. Two weeks later it all came falling down on me. I hadn't a thought that I was anything other than an open minded individual until after that particular EM. You may not be anything other than an "aware" individual...or you may infact find that you are kin. It shouldn't really matter either way, as long as you are happy with you ;D
|
|
Null
Shadow Keeper
Posts: 121
|
Limbo
Dec 29, 2005 17:19:00 GMT -5
Post by Null on Dec 29, 2005 17:19:00 GMT -5
I'm quite happy with myself regardless of what I may be. It's interesting that EM brings these feelings out of us.
|
|